21!

Dear Baba,

Thanks for the B'day wishes. :) I had probably the best B'Day of my life. :) The morning I got up and decided to just leave all my 'ego-identities' such as work, people, admits everything behind for a day and just spend some quite moments with myself. I took a complete day off from college and travelled alone around 75 kms in public transport carrying just the book you had gifted me. I had some awesome pizza,met a brilliant Italian photographer (S. Sarajano: http://sarjano.com/) and went to a beautiful secluded beach in North Goa. All this time I was trying my best to remain aware of the freshness of every moment. Any unnecessary references to the past and I noted to myself "That's okay, but it's gone, this very second is so beautiful." Any worries about the future and I was like: " That's Okay, but isn't it another fantasy projection of the mind." What is beautiful and real is the Now. By the end of the day when I was returning back to campus and was gazing past the beautiful Goan landscape a feeling clearly from beyond the realm of thinking mind, I was so absorbed and overwhelmed by the present i wasn't really thinking. I quickly took out my diary which I carry everywhere and wrote out of utter spontaneity: "If you can let go of the past and spend a life in the discovery of the Now, aren't you born every moment, isn't every second then a celebration of a truly 'Happy' Birthday?" And i felt i was indeed born again, 21 years young. My goal is slowly evolving to be born every moment staring at awe at the manifestations of mother nature. I hope this will deepen and make my interest in Science, more compassionate and selfless.

Okay so back to human-reality ( :P ) My friend just received an admit from Carnegie Mellon, for Masters Program in Electronics. Although I was very happy for him I was equally shocked to see the expenditure per year of the program: $ 58,000! And that is just what is the cost of the program, Living and food expenses in Pittsburg by even meagre standards should cost another 15-20k?Even the US percapita income median is lower than this. Most universities do not offer any aid to Masters students. Isn't this insane? However tons of Indian students will be taking massive loans to cover these expenses in the hope of finding a job in the US to pay of these debts. :( I slowly realised that working hard on your research and applying for a funded PhD. program (although tougher to get) might be a better option, which came naturally to me, thankfully due to the grace of Babaji. Also i felt that if had to take such loans i would have to spend at least 2-3 years working for any job before I can even think of applying for PhD. Also the burden on parents who will be mortgaging the loan is something I can't subjugate on them. I realise I have nothing but to be thankful for. Just thought I might share with you. Please bless me that I can be aware at all times and observe each moment as it is.

Love and Regards,
Babu,

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix.

P.S.: Just copy pasted the mail to my father on my B'Day.

Yes!

Notice how many times we say “No!” in a day? It is often in the dimension of speech we find ourselves saying: “No! I don't it like it.” or “No! I don't want to do it!” or even “ No! Things should not be this way.” But a closer observation at the dimension of thinking we find the frequency of the No's to be much more, usually sporadic and almost unconscious reaction. A conflicting opinion, a foul smell, 'indecent' clothes, homosexuality, drugs, politics and countless other things? “No!” The subtle quality of most No's are that they involve a spontaneous reaction based on our previous conditioning and fears and worries, they don't require any new effort in terms of thought or consideration and are usually on the assumption that our predisposition on the subject is correct, in short we have a fixed mental position. Is that the best way to go? I am sure most of us keep having moments of realisation that our previous disposition on a particular object, person, situation was at one time incomplete, flawed and rather non-compassionate. Often I find the people with greater ego-complex have a greater tendency towards resistance.

So next time you say a No! or want to involuntarily resist something, HOLD ON! . Will it kill to give it some more time before you react? For example, some one 'seemingly' insults you or provides a conflicting opinion. Your mind will instantaneously take a defensive stance and say No! And before you can take contol of the situation your mouth also is ready firing bullets and bombs in defence. All you have to do is: Hold On! Just watch while your mind hurls out an instantaneous series of No's. However during this new 'relapse time' don't keep mentally arguing about the contents of the object, just let it be.

Now comes the trick: The power Yes! Acknowledge the situation embrace it whole heartedly: Yes! I was abused, Yes! I had to go to a stinking toilet, Yes! My Mom thinks I am worth nothing. Rather the content and your reactions can you relate to the Yes or rather IS ness of the event. It is as it is, it does not care whether you as an individual like it or not, take offence or defence. It is as it is. Acknowledge it and leave it behind. Sooner rather than later, through this equanimous state of mind , I have found arises a new insight, a fresh wisdom, a different approach: May be the criticism was appropriate or may be the person who criticised has a particular perspective and he is entitled to it, isn't He/She. Isn't it obvious toilets are supposed smell dirty, why to react? Oh! My mama care for me too much, let her be! A new wisdom will arise through you only if you let your mind take a break from the continuous denial and resistance of what IS, a chain of reactions and No's! With this may be we will see the world a little more compassionately, with a little more understanding.

So the trick once again is to: Hold on whenever you sense a No!, Embrace the Is ness of the situation with a Yes! Wait for nature to throw a new insight. :)

Disclaimer: The 'preacher' has made more unsuccessful than successful attempts to follow 'the trick'. :P