21!

Dear Baba,

Thanks for the B'day wishes. :) I had probably the best B'Day of my life. :) The morning I got up and decided to just leave all my 'ego-identities' such as work, people, admits everything behind for a day and just spend some quite moments with myself. I took a complete day off from college and travelled alone around 75 kms in public transport carrying just the book you had gifted me. I had some awesome pizza,met a brilliant Italian photographer (S. Sarajano: http://sarjano.com/) and went to a beautiful secluded beach in North Goa. All this time I was trying my best to remain aware of the freshness of every moment. Any unnecessary references to the past and I noted to myself "That's okay, but it's gone, this very second is so beautiful." Any worries about the future and I was like: " That's Okay, but isn't it another fantasy projection of the mind." What is beautiful and real is the Now. By the end of the day when I was returning back to campus and was gazing past the beautiful Goan landscape a feeling clearly from beyond the realm of thinking mind, I was so absorbed and overwhelmed by the present i wasn't really thinking. I quickly took out my diary which I carry everywhere and wrote out of utter spontaneity: "If you can let go of the past and spend a life in the discovery of the Now, aren't you born every moment, isn't every second then a celebration of a truly 'Happy' Birthday?" And i felt i was indeed born again, 21 years young. My goal is slowly evolving to be born every moment staring at awe at the manifestations of mother nature. I hope this will deepen and make my interest in Science, more compassionate and selfless.

Okay so back to human-reality ( :P ) My friend just received an admit from Carnegie Mellon, for Masters Program in Electronics. Although I was very happy for him I was equally shocked to see the expenditure per year of the program: $ 58,000! And that is just what is the cost of the program, Living and food expenses in Pittsburg by even meagre standards should cost another 15-20k?Even the US percapita income median is lower than this. Most universities do not offer any aid to Masters students. Isn't this insane? However tons of Indian students will be taking massive loans to cover these expenses in the hope of finding a job in the US to pay of these debts. :( I slowly realised that working hard on your research and applying for a funded PhD. program (although tougher to get) might be a better option, which came naturally to me, thankfully due to the grace of Babaji. Also i felt that if had to take such loans i would have to spend at least 2-3 years working for any job before I can even think of applying for PhD. Also the burden on parents who will be mortgaging the loan is something I can't subjugate on them. I realise I have nothing but to be thankful for. Just thought I might share with you. Please bless me that I can be aware at all times and observe each moment as it is.

Love and Regards,
Babu,

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix.

P.S.: Just copy pasted the mail to my father on my B'Day.

Yes!

Notice how many times we say “No!” in a day? It is often in the dimension of speech we find ourselves saying: “No! I don't it like it.” or “No! I don't want to do it!” or even “ No! Things should not be this way.” But a closer observation at the dimension of thinking we find the frequency of the No's to be much more, usually sporadic and almost unconscious reaction. A conflicting opinion, a foul smell, 'indecent' clothes, homosexuality, drugs, politics and countless other things? “No!” The subtle quality of most No's are that they involve a spontaneous reaction based on our previous conditioning and fears and worries, they don't require any new effort in terms of thought or consideration and are usually on the assumption that our predisposition on the subject is correct, in short we have a fixed mental position. Is that the best way to go? I am sure most of us keep having moments of realisation that our previous disposition on a particular object, person, situation was at one time incomplete, flawed and rather non-compassionate. Often I find the people with greater ego-complex have a greater tendency towards resistance.

So next time you say a No! or want to involuntarily resist something, HOLD ON! . Will it kill to give it some more time before you react? For example, some one 'seemingly' insults you or provides a conflicting opinion. Your mind will instantaneously take a defensive stance and say No! And before you can take contol of the situation your mouth also is ready firing bullets and bombs in defence. All you have to do is: Hold On! Just watch while your mind hurls out an instantaneous series of No's. However during this new 'relapse time' don't keep mentally arguing about the contents of the object, just let it be.

Now comes the trick: The power Yes! Acknowledge the situation embrace it whole heartedly: Yes! I was abused, Yes! I had to go to a stinking toilet, Yes! My Mom thinks I am worth nothing. Rather the content and your reactions can you relate to the Yes or rather IS ness of the event. It is as it is, it does not care whether you as an individual like it or not, take offence or defence. It is as it is. Acknowledge it and leave it behind. Sooner rather than later, through this equanimous state of mind , I have found arises a new insight, a fresh wisdom, a different approach: May be the criticism was appropriate or may be the person who criticised has a particular perspective and he is entitled to it, isn't He/She. Isn't it obvious toilets are supposed smell dirty, why to react? Oh! My mama care for me too much, let her be! A new wisdom will arise through you only if you let your mind take a break from the continuous denial and resistance of what IS, a chain of reactions and No's! With this may be we will see the world a little more compassionately, with a little more understanding.

So the trick once again is to: Hold on whenever you sense a No!, Embrace the Is ness of the situation with a Yes! Wait for nature to throw a new insight. :)

Disclaimer: The 'preacher' has made more unsuccessful than successful attempts to follow 'the trick'. :P

You look beautiful, in the half light

A dusty bus stop, the Goan flee market, smoky-weedy rock concert, local train passing by, often the eye meets a face, fresh and new, but somehow not unknown. And there you are transfixed in a state where your mind which was moments earlier stuck in myriad of plotting, planning, lamenting self-righteously or otherwise, does not know what to do next? So for at-least a few precious moment the incessant mental noise takes a halt and you just look, not crave or repulse, just look. Let be, Let look. Although the previous conditioning "Creep, don't stare at strangers" persists, a degree of carelessness helps, just look. With absolute reverence. For the sake of being frank and easy personification, more often than not, it is a her. So, just look at her. And soon the mind creeps over and destroys this 'concept-less' pondering, and puts labels and tags on the face. It finds the her pretty,wrinkled, suave, whatever and so arises an associated feeling/emotion of attraction, trust whatever, not important. Not giving these preconceived identities of thought and emotion too much attention and soon the mind gives up. It's bored and it wants something 'new' to characterise, but don't heed, just look.

I know her. I don't know her name, her personal history, likes-dislikes, where she is from or her personal nuances. Well in short, i don't know ABOUT her, but i know her. We are connected, this seemingly 'new' identity is connected to me. This is not a thought or a concept, which requires to be 'figured out' and carries the burden of duality. Best I can describe it as insight or knowledge. Connected very deeply. The mind asks 'How could this be?'. Some explanations offered are: acquaintance from the past or may be if you are born with Hindu conditioning, a mother, sister or wife from the past life or just 'Com'on mate get on with life'? Again just let the mind play it's versions of 'what might be', not get lost in them and soon like a disloyal friend, it escapes from you. Deserts you into a state of pure consciousness of complete connectedness. There is a flow of something , continuous and pristine. Although the bodies and minds are distantly disconnected, at another dimension there is a melodic continuum.

Worries about building a 'career' and 'identity' for the future soon kicks in and life goes on.

P.S. Well for the sake of personification and making it more appealing to another human mind this mind has used a 'her'. Often with nature and once with a sleeping cat too. You would be wrong to think that it happens only with marijuana in bloodstream.

One fine spring morning way back in 1978, as a young microbiology professor was about to enter his lab at the John Hopkins University, Baltimore, he did his customary thing of glancing through the departmental soft board.

"DR. HAM SMITH WINS NOBEL PRIZE FOR MEDICINE."

The professor seems amused and stops to stare for a while. However, too many thoughts are bothering him about the work he had left off late last night. So he rushes and soon finds himself deeply engrossed in work in an empty lab. It was too early for anyone to come, senior professors or graduate students or even the lab assistants. But nothing was too early for this guy. The lab was empty too, when he had left last night. He had always been happy working. An hour later his mother calls him up. She asks whether he has had his breakfast. After a long awkward pause he replies hesitantly in affirmation. The mother knows her child is lying. But she does not complain. They talk of things in general and suddenly the guy excitedly tells his mother "Mama, I didn't know that there is another 'Hamilton Smith' right here at John Hopkins and he's just won the Nobel Prize". His mother fondly ridicules him to be oblivious to the fact that there is a professor of the same name as his in the same University. She ends by asking her son to send the guy a congratulatory note.

By evening the young professor's chamber is filled with hundreds of congratulatory notes. There ain't a second Hamilton Smith at John Hopkins.

The professor in question, Dr. Hamilton Smith won the Nobel for the discovery of restriction enzymes, bio-molecules used for snipping parts of DNA. Ask any Biology student and they'll tell you that this discovery is probably one of the main reasons why DNA Science has become DNA technology. Simply put, this guy's work has shaped our ability to create and modify the fundamental molecules that govern every aspect of our biological being. Even today if you visit the John Hopkins University, you shall find him working early each morning with a pipette in his hand.

Does the story show how humble this gentle intellectual giant is?

No, according to me. He has transcended 'humility'. Humility is a virtue for lesser mortals like me. This artist has transcended humility as he has transcended himself by uniting his mind, body and soul in the art. This man has shown the highest state of awareness for an artist. A state of awareness, where the artist is so consciously in unity with his art that he is blissfully unaware of himself.

Many people have read the Srimad Bhagwad Gita in my country and always make attempts to explain the philosophy behind it. Dr. Hamilton Smith has probably never read the Gita but he just did. Atleast to me.

P.S: This story was narrated by Juan Enriquez a leading expert on the economic and political impact of science at the TED Conference (Please visit http://www.ted.com ; BITSians may find the video on the LAN). I admit guilt to have used my imagination to make the story a bit more interesting. :)

"Surely You are Joking my Son"

A few days back i was confronted by the same question which had once troubled the great physicist Dr. Richard Feynman. However, it so happens that there were a few similarities and a few dissimilarities regarding the premise of this question. First the similarities; In both these cases this question was asked to them by their respective fathers (hero-figure to their sons) while their sons holidaying at home, away from their undergrad courses. Both these men expected to get a satisfactory answer to this question as they had spent a considerable amount of their fortune in sending their sons to respectable science colleges of their respective countries. Both sons failed to live up to their father’s expectations. The dissimilarities (are most obvious); one of them was one of the most original thinkers of all times and the other is the most wannabe original thinker of all times. Secondly Feynman’s story is what you would read in any of his books or see in any of his documentaries and my story i assure you, will get to read in my stupid blog. So, the choice is yours: Do you want to read the story of a man who changed the way we look at QED or a guy who still hasn’t able to figure out the working of the LED.

I’m pretty much sure 99% of the people must have closed my blog window. But throughout my life i able to make sense to the rest 1% so i shall ramble on…. Yes, so about the question which we faced (i should stop using ‘we’ now!) “What is light? Is it particle or wave?”

I found myself uncomfortably dumb. After gathering my thoughts I began explaining (with whatever poor understanding I have of the subject) to Baba that according to me it was neither, only sometimes in some experiments it shows characteristics of a particle and in some experiments it shows characteristics of a wave. As a silly example I offered: from a distance a red round object might be confused for an apple or a cricket ball as they are red and round. Might be either; might be neither.Or perhaps there ain’t difference between either. However, I was unable to convince Baba who through some source had come to the conclusion that light is both a particle and wave. With his very sweet and mischievous smile he said to me “Surely you are joking, my son.” After several futile attempts to express and impress, I gave up. However, this question kept bothering me (probably my own inability to convince myself lead to this commotion.)

2:30 A.M : On a piece of paper I wrote down the big question in block letters.

“IS LIGHT A PARTICLE OR A WAVE?”

Nearly 10 minutes of glancing at the paper and the question made absolutely no sense to me!!!! The explanation that shall follow is quite fuzzy but please bear with it.

Question1: What is light? Is it real?

Answer: Light is a form of energy and blah and blah and blah….(plz refer text books.) IT IS PROBABLY THE ONLY REAL THING.

Question2: What is particle/wave? Is it real?

Answer: Particles and Waves are nothing but creations of the human mind (which is essentially a pattern recognition machine). They are 2 imaginary word-concepts created by physicist so that they can make some sense of the things that are happening around them. In reality either may exist neither may exist or both might be the same thing (that is what we currently like to believe -The Wave-Particle Duality.)

So, all this time we have been trying to through our intellect fit in something as real as light within the narrow constraints of human imagination which is blinded by not only by perception and experience but also by prejudice. "Trying to explain the beauty and intricacies of nature by verification from human imagination". Is this what SCIENCE is all about? Is SCIENCE all about satisfying man’s fundamental requirement of trying to explain everything. Or is it about just staring at Mother Nature, totally taken in by her beauty and intricacy, totally overjoyed to have witnessed this spectacle, totally clueless and helpless? Being happy to know that you just don't know and you don't need to.

i don’t know. And that’s why i am not Richard Feynman.